Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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