were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
