Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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