You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
