all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize