i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
