p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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