he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
