Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
