No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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