on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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