I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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