I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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