Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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