You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
