I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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