Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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