there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
