Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
