my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
How's work?
Spinning.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
