I cockslap morals
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
