This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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