I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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