Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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