have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
