i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
