Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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