Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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