Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize