I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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