so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize