They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
