My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
