Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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