I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Im part way to drunk.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
