i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
