so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
