I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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