i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
