i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he fucked my hip out of place.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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