Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
