U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
