So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
