When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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