It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
