omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
