why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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