I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize