just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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