I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
