We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize