??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
