White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
These tits shall not be calmed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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