yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
