If i come over, it means nothing
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
