why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
