We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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