that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
