VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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