she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
