Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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