It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
