Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
