i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize