Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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